Managing Intrusive Thoughts
“You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest”
--Martin Luther
If you’ve spent more than an hour with me, you have likely heard me say, “One of my favorite quotes is…”. The truth is, I have dozens of “favorite quotes”. I found this one to be particularly useful when experiencing unwanted, intrusive thoughts. Reflecting on the simple truths in this statement can help if you are battling unwanted thoughts.
As fallen, fallible creatures, we have limited control over the thoughts that enter our mind. At times, our thoughts can be comforting, inquisitive, amusing, and insightful. Other times, they can be bizarre and downright disturbing. When these kinds of unwanted thoughts come suddenly, involuntarily, and repetitively, they are considered intrusive thoughts.
What makes intrusive thoughts so distressing?
The content of intrusive thoughts are often blasphemous, violent, or sexual in nature. Consider the following examples:
- Cursing God while trying to pray, or the thought you are going to abandon your faith.
- Thinking of stabbing someone, or driving your car off a bridge.
- The thought of being sexual with a minor, or having a same-sex attraction despite having never had them before.
The explicit or bizarre content makes it difficult to talk to others. Thus, the burden is carried alone out of embarrassment or fear of being judged.
Intrusive thoughts and images are involuntary and often occur without warning.
These thoughts can become recurrent and difficult to block.
Intrusive thoughts can feel very real, thus people often question if these thoughts have some hidden meaning about who they are as a person, or reflect their real desires.
People fear they may act on the thought, or that the thought will certainly come true.
If you are experiencing these kinds of thoughts or images, here are a few things to keep in mind:
A thought is just a thought. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t give the thought more power than it deserves!
Having a thought is not a sin. The content may be offensive to God, but God is not offended by you because you had a thought enter your mind.
Recognize the thought is distressing because it is unwanted, not a reflection of your real desires.
Understand the thought is disturbing because it violates your values and beliefs, it doesn’t reflect them.
Finally, you do not have to act on the thought if you choose not to.
With this in mind, here are a few final thoughts that may help keep these unwanted thoughts from ‘building a nest’.
Use a gentle approach. Notice the thought, identify it as an intrusive thought, and gently ‘shoo’ it away. Recognize it will likely return, and that’s okay. Just notice, identify, and shoo again. Ironically, a strong reaction can imbed the thought deeper as our brain gives greater weight to things we emotionally react to (“Ah, this MUST be important!”).
Confess the thought to someone safe. Find a friend, parent, minister, therapist, someone safe that you can confide in. This is often enough to release any power the thought may have. You may be surprised at how many people you know have experienced this as well.
Avoid interpreting or engaging with the thought. Though there may be some value in doing this in some settings, its generally best to understand our minds are mysterious and wonderful, but are fallible as well. Not every thought deserves our attention and energy.
Seek to fill and renew your mind daily with truth (Philippians 4:8; Romans 12:2). Though we cannot control every thought that enters our mind, we do have control over what we choose to fill our minds with.
Just as we can’t keep a bird from flying over our head, we can’t prevent every unwanted thought from entering our mind, and that’s okay. We can, however, respond in ways that keep them from building a nest.
If you need additional assistance with unwanted and intrusive thoughts, call John (832-471-7722) to set up an appointment, or find a qualified therapist in your area who specializes in the treatment of anxiety, trauma, and OCD.
